The Letters of MartinsvillePosted by in General
Sometimes during the races I sit there and try to write letters catching up on correspondence (yes I am a hold back I believe hardily in paper letters, written on cutesy stationary and mailed through the post office). However I usually always get wrapped up in the race and the letter usually never gets past “Dear So-and-So, Hello! How are you doing?” This weekend was no different. However I did end up writing some letters in regards to the race. Enjoy.
Boogity boogity boogity rocks. Glad you have your voice back- I missed it at Bristol!
Let’s Go Racing- AMY
Dear Goody’s Headache Powder-
I have looked for you for years. I remember looking for it when I was about 10 years old in our local drugstore and my mom kept asking me what I was looking for and I finally told her. She told me they don’t sell you in California. Why?
I have a headache- AMY
Since when do you know Kasey Kahne by sight? That scared me slightly. And when did you stop asking where Mark Martin is? And since when do you call Tony SMOKE?
Kasey Kahne is too babyfaced to sell me beer. I do like the Allstate commercials though. A lot.
Not Drinking Beer at 10:30am, AMY
Dear Mike Skinner and Matt Kenseth-
Y’all missed the freaking pace car. You might wanna go back out and try for perfect.
Just call me Harry, AMY
(at Lap 120)
Don’t give up. I haven’t.
Still Cheering You On, AMY
Dear Aric Almirola (or however you spell it)-
Just how many spinouts do you plan on causing this race?
Getting dizzy, AMY
Dear Home Depot Pit Crew-
FASTER FASTER FASTER.
Hating Losing positions in the pits, AMY
(in regards to the hotpass commercial)
I find it impossible to hold it in for 400 or 500 laps– you must have a bladder of steel.
On a potty break, AMY
(regarding the championship commercial)
Dear Jimmie Johnson-
Did you know that 1428 tires divided by 36 races is 39.667 tires per race? Just thought you might like to know.
I didn’t even use a calculator, AMY
Dear Jeff Burton-
Please paint your car a different color. Your orange is too close to Tony’s orange. Thanks.
Confused sometimes- AMY
Dear Fox Sportscasters-
I do not play darts. What the hell does “He drives like a dart with no feathers” mean? Is that good or bad?
Don’t make me ruin the darts in the garage, AMY
Dear NASCAR fans-
I have a great idea. Lets a WHOLE BUNCH of us…like all of us, throw in 20 or 30 bucks into a big pool of money (come on I know there are A LOT OF NASCAR fans out there) and use that money to sponsor poor Kvapil. His car looks so damn naked out there. We could have him list our names on his empty spots in alphabetical order.
I always wanted to work in Nascar, AMY
You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.