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Author Archives: Amy

Read the original post The Letters of Martinsville for background on the format. Here are the new Letters of Martinsville:

Dear Dale Jarrett-

It’s okay to be excited to watch Martinsville- I enjoy it too! Plus I really enjoy you as a race annoucer! Let’s go racing.

Wahoo- Amy


Dear Carl Edwards-

You’re smoking your tires awfully early. Patience man patience!

Amy PS Apparently its your splitter so never mind.


Dear Jeff Gordon-

Who set your ass on fire? My bff will be thrilled. Keep it up.



Dear DirecTv-

Please time your commercials better so I can hear about Tony’s handling issues. It’s a bit frustrating to hear “I’m turning good but…” only to be interrupted by a commercial break (on for Home Depot ironically). Thanks.

Hotpass SD Channel lover- Amy


Dear Tony/Zippy-

What exactly is “side bite?” I kinda have an idea judging by my knowledge of forward bite- but I would like to know officially. Thanks.

Amy PS. Keep digging! You’re doing good so far!


Dear Scott Speed-

Go back to F1 please. Thx! Love, AMY


Dear Jr.

Um, first playing shovsies with your teammate Mears and then spinning McMurray? Patience man, patience! It’s a long race yet.

Amy PS. Stay away from Stewart- m’kay? Thx.


Dear Tony-

You crack me up! Radioing in with “I DIDN’T TOUCH HIM!” the minute after Regan Smith spun made me chuckle. What made me laugh even more though? When your spotter Mike said “But did you pass him under the yellow line?” Oh the humor.

Keep digging- Amy


Dear Tony/Zippy-

Right sides only?!? Are you all nuts? It did NOTHING for the Biff last run.

Just curious- Amy


Dear Jimmie-

I am just wondering where you think they “magic factor” adjustment is on the car and who adjusts that during a pitstop? I’m pretty sure that Chad Knaus would like to know this too.

Magically challenged- Amy


Dear Roxy-

I know you relish your midafternoon Sunday naps in your chair- all curled up in a cute little ball. However you are snoring louder than the TV and I can’t hear. Please stop lest I kick you outside for your nap.

Do they make breathe right strips for dogs?- Amy


Dear Front Tire Carrier for the 41-

Thank you for carrying the crew cam. I love the crew cam. Also thanks for taking the time to tell us what you are doing during the pitstop. That can’t be easy but it totally rocks. Thanks.

The Pit Stop Geek- Amy


Dear Sprint Speed Commercial in the Grocery Store-

Why the heck are you so much louder than all the other? Turn it down. Thanks for making me sound like my parents.

Old and Grouchy, Amy


Dear Race Announcer- FYI cream rises to the top. The cream does not rise to the crop. Its either cream of the crop or cream rises to the top. Trust me I know this!

This I know- Amy


Dear Kurt Busch-

I know you are way behind and that has to be disappointing but you can not just pull into the garage and quit. Your sponsors would not like that.

Don’t Be A Quitter- Amy


Dear Zippy- I really don’t understand your pit strategy. After Tony melted the first right front and then like 10-20 laps later there was a yellow you brought him in anyway. Then the second time Tony melted the right front there was another yellow no more than 10 laps later (if that). And you pulled Tony in again! I do NOT understand why you didn’t leave him out to gain some positions back.  What did I miss??

Confused- Amy


Congratulations on your win Jimmie. You are on your way to number three.

Next week: Chase Race 7: Atlanta (which I will be watching from Las Vegas…most likely at the NASCAR CAFE!)

1) Johnny Quest meets his friend Hadji in India. Tell us about a friend you have/someone you met who is “far” away. (You determine what “far” is.)  Well I haven’t met any of my far away friends yet. But my best friend now lives 500 miles away and I am driving down on friday to see her. (Yes that’s another trip to Vegas for those keeping track). And for the record? I loved Johnny Quest as a child.

2) Scooby Doo and Shaggy are always hankerin’ for a snack. What have you got a craving for recently?  Well I have really been wanting a big glass of Hawaiian Punch. Odd I know but I always crave Hawaiian Punch when I am sick.

3) There are so many trains in “Thomas and Friends” I can’t keep track of them all! Is there a group of folks you’re involved in, and yet you don’t know everyone’s name (e.g. chruch group, business group, support group, etc.)? Can you tell us about it?  The workers in the umbrella department I work for.  There are always new people coming and going and half the time I don’t even see them or talk to them.  My little unit is extremely tight. There use to be three of us – now we are back down to two again because our “lead” is now the boss of the whole group (not the unbrella department but our group under the umbrella department which includes my small unit and a slightly larger unit that we work very closely with).

4) Bill Cosby was only a regular on “The Electric Company” for one season before he left. What job have you held for the shortest period of time? Back when I was a very in-demand babysitter when I was in high school and community college- a woman asked me (through my mom- which is how I got most of my jobs…she works at a grammar school) to baby sit for her three kids. Now this was the first time I had ever sat three at once (they ranged from 7-11). It was also the first time I had ever babysat a girl…who happened to be the 11 year old in the mix. The woman was hoping to make me a regular sitter for her because she had some commitment twice a week…it was so long ago I forgot what it was. This was not uncommon for me- people would use me as a fairly regular sitter and I liked that.  Anyway it was a horrendous experience. The children were little terrors- especially the 11 year old girl.  I was there for less than two hours.  The husband ended up beating his wife back home and said that he would be happy to give me a ride home as soon as his wife got back- and I said NO THAT’S OK I’LL WALK and I left. I never went back- I just wanted to get the hell out of there. They called me a couple of times trying to get me back. Funny how I was always booked when they wanted me.

5) Speaking of Bill Cosby, “The Junkyard Gang” from Fat Albert made instruments out of old junk. Do you have something in your house that’s old junk that you’ve turned into something useful? If not, tell us about something that’s junky, but that you just can’t get rid of.  Well my dad took some old bullet casings fashioned them into this whole little family of deer. They are actually quite cool. I love them.

I was reminded yesterday during my lunch about how much certain smells will invoke very specific memories or people or events for me. I was driving downtown in a city near where I work when I smelled burning oakwood (it was coming from a barbecue place not a wild fire) and I was instantly transported to my childhood and backyard barbecues at my paternal grandparents house. The funny thing was that in January my brother moved across the street and I went with him to look for a computer desk- and we went ALL over the place…and I mean EVERYWHERE. And we stopped to get gas on our scouting trip and we both smelled the same smell and he looked over at me and said “What’s that remind you of?” And I said “Grandpa’s house.” and he is “Me too!!!”

So here is a list of smells I am fond of for specific reasons:

1. Oak wood barbecues- as mentioned they remind me of my childhood and weekend barbecues at my paternal grandparents house.

2. Hoppe’s 9 Gun Oil- reminds me of my father. I actually LOVE the smell of this stuff. I came in recently and said “You went to the range today?” and he looked at me like he thought I was psychic but I let him off the hook: “I smell the hoppes. I love that smell.” My father thinks its weird that I love the smell of Hoppes…just for the record.

3. Canadian Mist and Pepsi- A drink that reminds me of my grandfather. He use to call them highballs but after googling it I guess that’s more because of the glass he drank it out of and less what was in the glass.

4. Original Old Spice- Another one that makes me think of my dad.

So tell me…what smells trigger memories in you?

Friday Fill-in #94:

1. Follow the wonderful smells- they are coming from the kitchen.
2. A camera is something I always take with me on vacation.
3. To achieve your goals, you must focus.
4. I am actually incredibly shy is something I’d like you to know about me.
5. I have a craving for steak.
6. Yellow Duckies floats.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to just being done with work this week, tomorrow my plans include all the stuff I didn’t do this week and last cuz I felt cruddy and Sunday, I want to relax and enjoy Martinsville!

That is what my friend just called me.  Why? Because I just fixed my shredder at work.  Yeah I am a little proud.

It all starts with me being too lazy to empty said shredder because it ALWAYS makes a huge paper mess on the floor and normally our office doesn’t get vacuumed but once a week.  Except lately I have been thinking that someone has been vacuuming daily.  And I notice that they have been taking my trash out too!  Anyway I digress.  So I had been putting off shredding because well I was too lazy to remove the shreddlings bag.  Well finally it got to critial mass and I turned to empty the shredder and I notice that by some magic someone has already emptied the shredder bag! But now my shredder won’t work. Well I notice they put the top on backwards so I fix that- still a no go.  I try different plugs and turning it on and off and such and still nothing. So I take the shredder off the base and notice its JAMMED full of paper. So I unplug it and set it upside down on my lap and painstakenly (using a bic pen because no way was I sticking my fingers in there even though it was unplugged) removed all the jammed in paper. And VIOLA! It worked. YEY me!

It’s the troubleshooter in my I think. Plus I have always been fascinated with how and why things work the way they work. I told my mom- I think I should have been a mechanic.

File this one in the “WHAT THE???” category. This was under the WALLPAPERS section at homedepotracing.com today from the Charlotte race. Is it some kind of hazing***? A bizarre right of passage at Charlotte? Crazed fans? Or people with too much time on their hands?
Sign Says: Im Tired Of Winning, Going To Stewart Haas

Sign Says: I'm Tired Of Winning, Going To Stewart Haas

Is it me or does he look like he’s ducktaped to a dolly?? And why won’t people transport me around work on a dolly…it sounds like fun and I know the guys next door have a couple! Ah on second thought they would probably just drop me in the quad or leave me in the storage closet or something. I’ll walk.


Congratulations are in order for Clint Bowyer for being the winner of the Gillette Timeshaver Award for spending the least time in the pits in Charlotte. I don’t know if you have been paying attention to this award but each week the Gillette Young Guns Driver who has spent the least amount of time in the pits during that particular race is the driver awarded. As you all know I am fascinated by pit stops and pit crews so I pay attention to these kind of things. Fans at home can play along by going to the Gillette Timeshaver website to align themselves up with one of the Gillete Young Guns.

The Gillette Young Guns

The Gillette Drivers from L-R: Ryan Newman, Denny Hamlin, Kasey Kahne, Clint Bowyer, Carl Edwards and Kurt Busch

And that’s a great line up of drivers if you consider that both Kurt Busch and Kasey Kahne got top five finishes at Charlotte last week.


***Updated to find out that this IS some sort of hazing. Apparently this took place at FanFest at JGR. According to sources-employees at JGR do this to employees who have given their notice.  Tony was well Tonynapped from the JGR cafeteria by crew members and transported to the flagpole- where he was tied to the flagpole.

For those keeping track at home here are the answers to my NAME THAT TUNE from last week. Looks like CHARITY was the big winner…she gets a bazillion brownie points. JOHN gets a million for getting the extra credit:

1. If you’re coming with me you need nerves of steel/Cuz I take corners on two wheels. Me Vida Loca- Pam Tillis

2. Your beauty is beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair/ with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green. Jolene- I was going for the version by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes but would accept both Dolly Parton or Tanya Tucker.

3. I see our freedom in my sight. No locked doors, no windows barred. Sanitarium (Welcome Home) – Metallica

4. I think its cool you do what you do and don’t try to save me. Bitch by Meredith Brooks

5. Like uh, let’s see: Havolive, Target, Sharpie, Caterpiller, Nextel, Mountain Dew, Dupont, Lowes, Home Depot, Kodak, M&Ms, UPS, Tide, Alltel, Gillette, Kellogs, V!agra, DeWalt and uh…budweiser I Love NACAR by Cledus T Judd

6. And God knows we’re gonna talk about your clothes I Wanna Talk About Me- Toby Keith

7. I’m a fine-tuned supersonic speed machine. Shut Up & Drive -Rihanna

8. I was an august baby, conceived by the christmas lights. Shades of Gray- Amanda Marshall

9. I’m way too long for the bed, yeah it’s hard to get around. Sixfoot Town- Big & Rich

10. Seen her in the park with a puppy on a string, looking so cute Norma Jean Riley- Diamond Rio

11. Did you read the news today? They say that danger’s gone away. Land of Confusion- Was looking for DISTURBED but would have accepted Gensis

12. I’ve had everything that’s tangible, honey you’d be surprised. Rocket Queen- Guns N Roses

13. And my memories left with you, there’s nothing more to say. A Tout Le Monde- Megadeth

14. Give me strength at least give me a light, Give me anything even sympathy Union of the Snake- Duran Duran

15. I can’t waste another minute after all that I’ve put in it, I’ve given you my best, why does she get the best of you? Stay – Sugarland

Extra Credit: Love to see them tag, love a last lap turn four pass and my guy takes the checkered flag. NASCAR Love- Toby Lightman

1.  Other than the usual “crunch”, what one word best describes the sound when you walk in snow? Tell us about a time you had with/in snow.  Well it doesn’t snow here…but when I think of snow and my experiences with it…I think the sound is slog. I actually hate snow. I try to avoid at all expenses.

2. What one word best describes the sound of leaves as you walk through them. Try not to use the word “rustle, rustling”. Share a story having to do with you and leaves. Swoosh!  Because I like to drive through “puddles of leaves”.  I am sure it pisses people off but around here when the leaves start to fall from the trees people make piles of them out in the street front of their houses for the street sweeper to pick up.  And I like to swoosh through the pile of leaves.

3. Choosing another word besides the word “slosh”, give us your best (one) word for walking through rain and puddles. We’d love to read a story about you and the rain and/or puddles. Squish…that’s the sound of walking through our lawn when its rained.  I don’t have any stories about me in particular unless you want to hear about some horrifying stories about hydroplaning on the way home from a Tesla concert or hydroplaning on my way home from work during el nino. Roxy however is so prissy that she does NOT like to get her feet the least bit wet…and when she does she almost tiptoes through the water. Its humorous to watch.

4.  Yes, there’s sweltering. But pick one other word to describe the humid summer heat. If you’re able, tell us a funny story related to you and the summer heat. If nothing comes to mind, tell us what you do to beat the heat.  Drenching.  The heat in Fontana at the races about killed me. I am not use to that kind of sticky heat. Bleck.  To beat the heat? I say out of it!

5.  Halloween is fast approaching. Other than the word “spooky”, choose one word that describes the Halloween atmosphere. Share with us a favorite Halloween costume you wore. If you’ve never participated by wearing a costume, let us know the wildest costume you’ve ever seen.  Exciting! I love Halloween!! I always liked to make my own costumes. One year I think it was 6th grade my mom told me I was too old to trick or treat (because I looked a lot older) but I still wanted to participate in the halloween parade at school so I went out in the garage and found my dads overalls…and rolled them up and pinned them.  Went out to the back yard and got ash from the bbq pit and put it all over my face and my hands and the overalls…and then grabbed a wrench out of my dad’s toolbox and went as a mechanic.  More recently? I bought a bunch of those HELLO MY NAME IS…. stickers? Wrote a bunch of different names on them and put them all over myself…and went as an identity crisis.