Read the original post The Letters of Martinsville for background on the format. Here are the new Letters of Martinsville:
Dear Dale Jarrett-
It’s okay to be excited to watch Martinsville- I enjoy it too! Plus I really enjoy you as a race annoucer! Let’s go racing.
Dear Carl Edwards-
You’re smoking your tires awfully early. Patience man patience!
Amy PS Apparently its your splitter so never mind.
Dear Jeff Gordon-
Who set your ass on fire? My bff will be thrilled. Keep it up.
Please time your commercials better so I can hear about Tony’s handling issues. It’s a bit frustrating to hear “I’m turning good but…” only to be interrupted by a commercial break (on for Home Depot ironically). Thanks.
Hotpass SD Channel lover- Amy
What exactly is “side bite?” I kinda have an idea judging by my knowledge of forward bite- but I would like to know officially. Thanks.
Amy PS. Keep digging! You’re doing good so far!
Dear Scott Speed-
Go back to F1 please. Thx! Love, AMY
Um, first playing shovsies with your teammate Mears and then spinning McMurray? Patience man, patience! It’s a long race yet.
Amy PS. Stay away from Stewart- m’kay? Thx.
You crack me up! Radioing in with “I DIDN’T TOUCH HIM!” the minute after Regan Smith spun made me chuckle. What made me laugh even more though? When your spotter Mike said “But did you pass him under the yellow line?” Oh the humor.
Keep digging- Amy
Right sides only?!? Are you all nuts? It did NOTHING for the Biff last run.
Just curious- Amy
I am just wondering where you think they “magic factor” adjustment is on the car and who adjusts that during a pitstop? I’m pretty sure that Chad Knaus would like to know this too.
Magically challenged- Amy
I know you relish your midafternoon Sunday naps in your chair- all curled up in a cute little ball. However you are snoring louder than the TV and I can’t hear. Please stop lest I kick you outside for your nap.
Do they make breathe right strips for dogs?- Amy
Dear Front Tire Carrier for the 41-
Thank you for carrying the crew cam. I love the crew cam. Also thanks for taking the time to tell us what you are doing during the pitstop. That can’t be easy but it totally rocks. Thanks.
The Pit Stop Geek- Amy
Dear Sprint Speed Commercial in the Grocery Store-
Why the heck are you so much louder than all the other? Turn it down. Thanks for making me sound like my parents.
Old and Grouchy, Amy
Dear Race Announcer- FYI cream rises to the top. The cream does not rise to the crop. Its either cream of the crop or cream rises to the top. Trust me I know this!
This I know- Amy
Dear Kurt Busch-
I know you are way behind and that has to be disappointing but you can not just pull into the garage and quit. Your sponsors would not like that.
Don’t Be A Quitter- Amy
Dear Zippy- I really don’t understand your pit strategy. After Tony melted the first right front and then like 10-20 laps later there was a yellow you brought him in anyway. Then the second time Tony melted the right front there was another yellow no more than 10 laps later (if that). And you pulled Tony in again! I do NOT understand why you didn’t leave him out to gain some positions back. What did I miss??
Congratulations on your win Jimmie. You are on your way to number three.
Next week: Chase Race 7: Atlanta (which I will be watching from Las Vegas…most likely at the NASCAR CAFE!)