I hear some rattling in the kitchen. I think someone might be getting ready to eat something. I wonder if I should get up. (Listening intently) Yep that is definitely foodstuffs. (jumps off bed and sits by door, knocking into her “doorbell” to be let out). (Runs into the primary food room) Ooh someone is putting foodstuffs into that square blue thing. If I sit here maybe something will drop on the floor or they will toss me something. No? Come on…there has to be SOMETHING up there you could give me. I smell it…lemme have it…puhleeeze…..Oooh they are moving over to the fruit bowl. I hope it’s a banana….If it is a banana I will get a piece. They know how much I love banana. I really do. Banana rocks. Yep it is a banana (chew chew chew) Yum…banana’s rock. Oooh yogurt! I love to lick the Yogurt cup!!! Thanks (lick lick lick lick). Hmmm they appear to be looking for something…I will follow to help aid in discovery…afterall it might be food. Ah time to put those funny smelly things on their feet. If I set my head on their knee just right and try not to drool too much and pretend I love love LOVE them…they will go into the other room and get me a cookie. I love cookies. Ooh yep (WOOF)…usually they talk nonsense to me but I understand COOKIE (Woof). Come on hurry up! Cookie Emergency! (woof arooooo) After all I haven’t eaten anything for like fifteen minutes now! Hurry in there! No not there in there…yeah….cookie!!! (Runs off to kitchen bed to enjoy cookie).
It’s time to “Get the Paper” I am not sure what that means to the two leggers but to me it means going out in the big yard with no leash and sniffing around for intruders and stuff while they walk and pick up that cylinder that comes every morning. I don’t understand it. Every morning they pick up the cylinder and it doesn’t even have food in it…and every morning another one appears! It is pretty big and there are so many smells. I need to check the whole area to make sure no one has been sneaking in late at night. Hmmmm smells like cat. Yep definitely cat. HEY CAT HAS BEEN IN HERE!!!! CAT!!! I am telling you CAT!!!! Maybe Possum too! Ooh yeah possum has definitely been over there….definitely possum. They smell BAD I would know a possum anywhere!!! Ooh what is that over there? A bird? What is he doing in my yard? I better watch him. And another two legger over there across that gray thing. I am not allowed to go in the gray thing. Maybe if I watch him he will come over here and let me check him for food. Nope. Ooh I better get back. I hear my two legger barking INSIDE.
That was hard work. I better go take a nap. I think I will nap in the kitchen bed.
Hmmm I just came in from sniffing around outside. There was some good smells under the lemon tree. Lemme jump up into my big bed. Uhoh. I wonder what “Get Your Muddy Paws off my bed mean?” Uh-oh I think I am in trouble. Yep. I didn’t mean to do it. (Sulk)
Darn. Time to go outside. Oh fresh water. I love fresh water time. I will go get Kody and grab his ears. KODY it is fresh water time!!! Fresh water!!! YEY!!!! Kody is old and bored with me. He wishes I would leave his ears alone. I am just trying to get him excited about something. Maybe he is right. We should take a nap. I hope he doesn’t nap in the little dogloo. I want to sleep in there…and since it is all about me I should be able to. Oh good he is sleeping in the sun on the patio so I will nap in this dogloo house.
Call of nature time. There…that feels better.
Hmmm I better do a perimeter sniff of the yard. Make sure no intruders stopped by while I was napping.
Ooh a rock. (Pushes rock around yard a bit) Ahh that’s no fun.
AROOOO! A CAT A CAT IN THE TREE!! AROOO!!! AROOO!!!! CAT CAT CAT!!! GET OUT DAMN CAT!!!!! AROOOO this is our yard cat!!! AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOROOOOOOOROOOOO!!! There I told him. He went away. Shwew…that was close. I better go get some water. Not so fresh this time. But quenching all the same. Ooh nap time again.
Kody!!! (pulls on ears) Chase me! Lets run! come on! Run. Come on. NO not over there. I am over here!!! Did you find something? Lemme help you sniff it out. Hmm…that looks like crab grass (pull pull pull) Yep this is crab grass. Now lets get that Rock and play with it. Look Kody I have a rock!!! A rock!
Maybe I should move out to the sun with Kody. He won’t mind.
What was that? Kody did you hear that? ROOO ROO!!!! Ahh false alarm. It was just the two legger on the other side of the fence. Let’s go back to sleep.
Ooh lets go sit by the glass door and see if they will let us in for food. Nope. Darn.
Hey…look at that dirt. That dirt needs to be moved! (dig) I know that there has to be an end to this dirt (dig dig dig dig) Oooh Kody look. A big dirt clog came up. I am gonna take this to the door. A present for my two legger.
More napping and dirt moving. Ooh and I found a ball. Yey. Squeaks too! (chew and play)
Back into the big house. Yey!!! I will do my happy dance! Happy dance happy dance. Aren’t I cute? Happy dance. Hey how about you give me my dinner? No? Darn. I am gonna go sleep in my chair.
Oooh my new favorite two legger is home. How about YOU give me some dinner? No? Darn. Wait. She said my favorite word…WALK! Ooh that means I gotta get my leash. Over here. REmember it is over here!!! Yeah…Happy dance. (grab leash with mouth) COME ON THIS WAY TO THE DOOR. COME ON. LETS GO!!!!
That was fun. FUN. But now it is definitely dinner time. Come on. AROO. Put it in my bowl. ROO!!!!
What are you eating? can I have some. Please? Just a taste? Please. I am begging here. Come on. Look my food is all gone. Won’t you share? Please.
Oooh a new two legger is visiting. I like this one. I remember him. He always likes to pet me. Hey there! Remember me. Down here. Yeah!!! Pet me. Pet me. Pet me. Lemme check you for food. Nothing? Oh well you can pet me. Wanna play ball? Let me get you my ball. How is this one? No? Lemme see if I can find another ball. Throw it. Throw it. I am really good at getting the ball. Watch me. Throw it again. And again. and again. Really. Again. Yeah!
That was hard work. I need to take a nap. Oooh that two-legger wants me to sleep on their feet I know it.
Finally time to heed my last call of nature…when I can crawl into my big bed. Hey two-legger…move over make room for me. This is MY bed afterall.