Would someone driving a $111,000 vehicle be an ass (and risk damaging a car worth more money that I can fathom spending on a car at this point in my life) by passing me on the right (in the emergency lane - mind you) and then cut in front of me so closely that I not only had to slam on my brakes but worried about getting slammed in the rear by the car behind me (who was following too close)?? Did you really think that by passing my little Rav4 you would get to work any sooner (we were ALL stuck behind the tractor not just you jackass). Or maybe you were just showing off? WHATEVER!

I would like to tell where you can shove that Cayenne!

I know that I like to enlighten you with tales from the commute…and my commute is not a long one (thank god). Anyway this morning- a woman driving a fairly new white mercedes sedan…passes me ON THE RIGHT in a no passing zone and nearly takes out my front right quarter panel (luckily I saw her and slammmed on the brakes so she would fly by). Then she proceeded to drive at 35 Mph in the 45 mph zone- whilst talking on her cell phone (dude get a hands free set)…and applying make up in her rearview mirror. This went on for about 90% of my commute. Thanks.

First thing you MUST know is that I send large quanitities of stamped mail. I am a letter writer (a dying art) and I am one of those people who are resistant to online billpay. Today (Sunday) I had four letters to send out. Four. I have them all stamped with $0.37 stamps. Originally I was just going to toss them in the mail despite the fact that today was the first day of the new postal rate of: $0.39. I spoke on the phone with BFM this morning and mentioned in passing that I would be throwing some mail in the post box because some of it was for her…and she mentioned the rate change and I told her my plan to just throw it in any.

Well went I went to leave with my mail later in the morning I started feeling guilty about the extra $.08. So I went to the postal station that is open on sunday to buy some of the $0.02 cent stamps. Now they had only been open about 20 minutes when I got there…and they were already sold out of the $0.02 stamps and the $0.01 stamps as well! Great! I decided that I would drive clear across town to the main postoffice because surely the vending machine would have the makeup stamps. So I did this. I got in the lobby with the vending machines and indeed the machine had the makeup stamps….but both machines were SOLD OUT of them too.

To an absolutely empty lobby I announced “GREAT THE WHOLE FREAKING TOWN IS SOLD OUT OF THE MAKEUP STAMPS. TO HECK WITH IT!” And without further ado…I did what I was going to do in the first place and threw the mail into the slot stamped with the original postage ($0.37 each)- allowing it to slam shut loudly- and then stomped out in a huff.

So to the four people who are getting mail…I am sorry if your stupid postal worker charges you the extra $0.02…I honestly truely tried!!!

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The christmas 05/ NY 06 entry to be posted tomorrow!

Have you been watching MY NAME IS EARL? If not you should be! That show makes me laugh! For those who don’t watch- it is about Earl…a not so nice guy who- after being struck by a car whilst chasing a winning lottery ticket- begins to think about how he was a “not so nice guy” and after seeing Carson Daly talk about Karma- Earl decides to make a list of all his past wrongs and work through this list to make these things right- so Karma will be on his side.

Anyway…I believe that you reap what you sow..for the most part. That being said…
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Dear Girl driving the gold toyota camry this morning-

Maybe you aren’t familiar with this area…and if that is the case- get a clue. Maybe you aren’t familiar with driving laws in California- but you did have a California plate on your car- so I am assuming that you know that passing cars on the right- down the emergency lane is a big no-no. I am assuming that you also realized that:

1. It was very wet this morning. People who need to slam on their brakes in the wet often veer towards the emergency lane as a place to go- rather than rear end the car in front of them.
2. The reason traffic was backed up so bad is that the traffic signal, just past the place where two lanes of traffic eventually turn into one, was set to blink- which renders the intersection a huge 4-way stop, which in turn makes everything go slower in the morning commute. No one likes it when it is set to blink…and because it was set to blink EVERYONE was running late- not just you.

All that streaking down the emergency lane did for your cause was make other morning commuters, who obey the traffic laws, sit in their cars and mentally smite you…me included. Oh..and you may have perhaps arrived at work three or five minutes before the person behind you. It really isn’t worth possible injury or death just so you can race to the front of the line.

I was standing with my father at the sporting goods counter in Walmart the other day with my father. He wanted to inquire about something behind the counter. It was a Sunday- and very crowded. We had been in line to talk to someone about fifteen minutes or so. My dad was finally there talking to one of the two people working this counter asking his questions. The other employee had laid out an pellet gun on the counter and another customer was examining it for purchase. The idiot man handling the pellet gun pointed it our general direction and fired the weapon. We of course all jump back because even though it wasn’t loaded with pellets it did have the CO2 in the gun and made quite the noise. The clerk helping him looked over at us and laughed and said “There is nothing in it…no worries.”

I was raised around firearms my whole life and have a healthy respect for them. I know better than to point a weapon at a person- loaded or not….let along dry fire it while pointing it at a group of people! I think my brother said it best- most accidental shootings are with supposedly “unloaded” guns.

If I were the clerk I would have grabbed the pellet gun away from him and said NO GUN FOR YOU! And I would have made him leave. Idiot!