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Dear Mr. Red, Lowered Silverado Driver:

Good morning.  I don’t know you Mr. Red, Lowered Silverado Driver…so I don’t know how much you drive in a week. My weekly work commute is only a little over 100 miles a week. However I do know a little something about merging two lanes into one- as my daily commute requires this on both ends of my drive.  Its much like a zipper being zipped- if you can picture that.  Never do you see, when zipping up your hoodie, one of the zipper teeth running down the edge of the zipper in the emergency lane and then FORCING its way into the zipper at the very end. That being said- the emergency lane is not a “I can pass everyone and force myself in at the light” lane. It’s a lane set up for people who are having valid emergencies- like flat tires. It’s not legal to pass someone on the right, which you did- a whole line of cars because apparently you think you are special and don’t have to merge with all the other cars.  You nearly ran me into the oncoming lane…Jerk. I should have just let you hit me I guess. Thanks. AMY


Dear Peppy Little Morning Birds:

ARG! Are you freaking kidding me? Why must you sing EVERY MORNING at 4:30am? You, little birds, are the bane of my exisitence right now. You think your damn cheery little songs are so cute and want to share them with the neighborhood. All you make me do is want to strangle your little feathered necks.  At 4:30am I like to be well tucked into my bed and slumbering away…not laying there plotting the demise of two birds (or a hardy eviction notice from our neighborhood). Can’t you at the very least go sing to someone who is normally up at that hour? You are evil little feathered minions and….yeah just go sing somewhere else please! Thanks AMY